Yesterday I had my meltdown but I made sure Dave didn't suspect a thing. I suppose it was bound to happen and it was no fun at all. Each morning all week as I drove to the hospital I would give myself pep talks. I breathe deeply, relax my facial muscles and send up prayers for strength and loving patience so I can be exactly what Dave needs me to be. Until yesterday I have felt strong and able to meet the challenges. As far as Dave knows nothing was out of the norm. When I had my moments I made sure I was far from his view. When I knew it might be out of control I gathered as much control as I could muster to tell him I was headed home for a bit to let Homer out.
Once home I did what my normal routine for grief or sorrow is......I worked. I cleaned house and then headed outside to blow leaves, sweep and put away lawn furniture for the winter. It felt good to have purpose and be able to channel my pain into something productive! Later I went back to the hospital for a couple of hours and showed Dave my game face. That night as I ate dinner and confessed to Jorel my emotional day I learned an important thing: It is really difficult to chew a salad and cry. I don't recommend it!
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