Gleam in His Eye

Humor is the foundation upon which Dave and my relationship has been built. It was what first attracted us when we met in 1978 and continues to help our marriage thrive. Over the years Dave could be counted on to make a wry observation or inject an amusing remark that invariably made me laugh.  My wit is based more in sarcasm…Dave has a gift of perception and does not fail to break me up with his keen and charmingly warped vision. His humor does not degrade, it enlightens. Those of you who know and love Dave understand what I'm talking about. 

 

I say this because there has been a monolithic breakthrough this week...Dave’s sense of humor has returned! There are moments now when he casts a look my way and I see that ole' gleam in his eyes accompanied by his impish smile. I can elicit a smile more easily from him too and even a chuckle now and again. This gift approached from nowhere in the most dire hour. It came when it felt like we were standing on the edge of a cliff, but instead of falling he took a conscious leap of faith and lifted himself to a safer place of healing. I am so proud of him! Doing this takes grit and resolve to overcome the demons that haunt him daily. The demons named pain, disability, fatigue, depression and emasculation. He may ride this roller coaster up and down but feeling the wind of hope in his face is a breath of fresh air.

One night at dinner I asked him what changed. In his halting and limited speech he related that he was watching his good friend Steve and me working on the computer in an attempt to help him with a comic book matter. He made a conscious decision then and there to move past the negative aspects of his recovery. He simply said, “I was done with it!” This is another attribute of Dave’s that I have loved and admired, his ability to cut through all the shit and get on with it. When he makes up his mind he becomes single-minded. We all like to think we can do this, but Dave really does!

 

Golden Age Comics have been Dave’s life long passion and he and Steve have built a friendship as enduring as Superman. Steve has been by Dave’s side not only as a collector, but as a man who cares so deeply about his friend’s condition that he arranges his life around being there for Dave. Steve has been a fixture at the speech therapy appointments and a monumental support for me. He essentially told me that he doesn’t give a damn if Dave spoke only gibberish the rest of his life; he would still be his friend. Devotion like this is to be cherished! 

 

Steve is not alone in this commitment to Dave. So many others have come forward and continue to come forward to offer love, support and help. My head spins when I recall all the acts of kindness from family and friends that have blessed us! I wish I had the time and energy to take your hand and sincerely express my gratitude in person. For now please accept this less significant substitute: THANK YOU!!!

 

Cheryl and Dave circa 1980