Trudging Along

The past couple of days we have been socked in with heavy snowfall. Our 4x4 truck has the ability to get us most anywhere but we’ve lent it to our son so he can get to work. Meanwhile we are content to stay at home and admire the rare beauty of a snowfall in Seattle. I am recently off my scooter and sporting a walking boot but a misplaced step on the ice could upend my plans of recovery so for once I am playing it on the cautious side. Is that gasping I hear???? Yesssirreee! I am not being reckless!

Before Dave’s stroke neither one of us had even heard of “Aphasia”, which literally means ‘absence of speech’. Nearly one third of all stroke victims suffer aphasia adding up to on million people in the US with this condition. Yikes! And we had no idea??? Well we are starting to get one….

The experience of aphasia is different for each person ranging from total disability in communication to being able to function in society. For some people numbers and letters are alien-like squiggles. Others cannot follow anything but the most simply spoken sentences in conjunction with gestures and visual aids. Still others think they are speaking correctly when in fact complete nonsense spurts forth from their lips. Dave has experienced parts of each of these in phases of his recovery but he is progressing very well to the point that most of the time he knows when he has garbled or spoken the wrong word.

Dave and I often devote multiple times daily to his speech therapy. The more we plug along on this path the more apparent it is that Dave’s goal of being able to read may take years of working hard and even then there are no guarantees. As of now he can read words here and there but stringing them together in sentences and gaining context is beyond him. We work very hard on the alphabet and he consistently repeats it correctly. As it turns out this is his strength and we use it daily to rebuild his skills. 

Right now we are working on the letters A, E, S, T, and P and simple “sight” words beginning with these letters that are taught to young children. We start with “What is this letter?” “What sound does it make?” and then try to have him recognize and pronounce words that start with the letter. Plenty of times it is arduous, tedious and frustrating...we spent over 2 weeks on the same 6 words and they still do not come naturally to him. Yet he does improve and when he nails it we both reap the reward!

You wouldn’t think there was anything funny about aphasia but you are wrong! With all due respect to Dave and his valiant struggles we have had some darn good chuckles when the word he meant to say is replaced by something else. I never laugh AT Dave (he usually doesn’t realize he has spoken the wrong word until told). I always make sure to clue him in so we can laugh together. Humor is the foundation of our life together and why shouldn’t we continue to get glee from the ironies of the situation?

Here are some of my favorite Davisms:

·        When asked what doctor he had been to see he blithely replied “My gynecologist”.

·        When telling about the “scallops and prawns” meal he ordered on Christmas Eve it came out as “scallops and orgies”.

·        It is not uncommon during a home speech session that the wrong word is spoken or written but when he identified a roll of electrical tape as a TURD how can one not snicker?

·        But my favorite Dav-ish incident came one night while playing cards with friends. I was on a roll and drawing the best cards when Dave muttered “You are so fat!” when he meant “lucky” (at least I hope he did!). After informing him that he had called me fat I decided that I too would become aphasic and turned to Dave’s partner (and my opponent) and declared “You are so stupid!”

There are so many things we are learning and coming to terms with. I know life will never be as it was before but we can still have a fulfilling and complete life even if Dave never reads again. The morning newspaper is a cherished ritual only I can enjoy for now. The daily comics were a favorite of his and I have been saving them in a stack since his stroke with the hope that he one day he will be able to take pleasure in them once again. One thing is certain: we will never give up trying!

P.S. I am currently not on Facebook and it has been a thorn in my side! Several days ago I was converting my page to Timeline and instead it converted to a fan page and left me literally unable to post, comment or view the home page or any of my friend’s pages. I have spent hours trying to solve it and FB has not helped one whit! My last choice was to deactivate my account and wait 2 weeks to re-open another one. That means I will have to completely rebuild my site and friendships but oh well….it is a new beginning in many respects! (if anyone has any suggestions please let me know!!!!)