We have new enemies lately. They go by the names of APATHY,
BOREDOM and ANGER. Dave feels the apathy and boredom and I battle the anger. If
anyone uses the term “New Normal” to me one more time I swear I will have to
curb a stiff punch to their face! Most of the time people saying this have not
had to deal like we have. WTF is NORMAL
anyhow????? I have always bucked the phrase and proclaimed that normal is
boring. Which brings me to BOREDOM…..
Last weekend BOREDOM presented his bland face in our home
and did his darndest to undermine the good work done thus far. At this point in
Dave’s recovery he is not able to read or write much more than a word here or
there. His speaking skills are limited and difficult. Reading is a love he discovered just 4 years
past at the time he retired from the electrical trade. To not be able to read
his beloved Western novels is a big blow to him. He cannot read the newspaper
as he loved to do each morning either. With these skills still needing to be
sharpened he is relegated to the TV. Thank God it is football season! But of
course there is only so much TV that a person can take and I see him suffering
for it. This is where APATHY seeps in and he scares me more than BOREDOM!
The past 2 days I was down with the flu and not able to help
engage him much. I was pretty much useless other than to drag my butt out of
bed to dispense medications. This morning I felt a return of energy and had Dave
give Homer (the Weiner-ator!) a bath to give him something useful to do. It went
so-so (although Homer behaved as if the torture was exactly the way he
remembered it). I believe Dave’s self confidence is suffering and he does not
believe he can do much. He remembers how he did things before and the recovery
has been difficult to the point he has said to me many times lately that he doesn’t
care. I believe he says this in frustration more than that he doesn’t care…but
it frightens me all the same!
Back to the speaking and language department…..this is perhaps
the greatest hurdle Dave will have to face. We have to gird our loins for the
fact that he may never have a regular ‘ole conversation again. “Kara the
Magnificent” our speech therapist has been trying to make us understand this
concept all along and I have been bull-headedly denying that he will not
recover completely. We are reliant upon the notebook I call his “talking book”
and the fact that I know him so completely. Some days he says things simply and
well…others he forms words but nonsense comes out. This is all happening to a
man who has the same high IQ as he always has had, who is still the same person
inside as always and still has the same needs, wants, desires and sense of humor as before the
stroke. So I am saying to y’all that like to whip out the phrase “New Normal”….what
exactly is NORMAL
about that?!?!?!?
You can see my battle with ANGER is still being waged……
I am open to any suggestions on how to entertain and engage
Dave’s mind and person!
Cheryl- I feel for you, Im sure it's very frustrating! You may have already checked this out but if not here's a link to the National Stroke association that has info on support groups and info to etc to help you navigate this journey
ReplyDeletehttp://www.stroke.org/site/PageServer?pagename=support_groups
Cheryl, With Dave's love of reading, have you thought about audio books, I find them very relaxing especially when I had my knee done and was bored of T.V. This is all so new to you and the grieving period is still fresh, be Bloody pissed off. At keep the fire and passion in the belly. I hear you and my thoughts are with you..
ReplyDeleteMaria
Cheryl....I know how frustrated you are. Stroke recovery can be one of the most devastating times in anyone's life. I can hear you my friend. I had a friend who suffered a stroke back in April of 2010...I was the one who called 911. It has been a long and arduous road since then and I know about that boredom, apathy and anger thing, intimately. When you are pissed; let it out! When you are sad; shed those tears! When you are happy; sing and dance around the room and cherish that moment!! Here is one thing that I think is interesting and might be of some help.
ReplyDeleteStimulating All the Senses
Stimulation seems to be the key to neurofacilitation. Scientists agree that the more the brain is challenged, the better the recovery of neuronal function. Research has shown that stroke patients who listened to music every day in the early stages after a stroke recovered better than those who listened to audio books or do nothing. It's been suggested that the music directly stimulated the recovery of damaged neurons, or alternatively that it kick-started general repair and renewal mechanisms.
In another study, walking at fast paces was shown to improve stroke recovery. The researchers cheered the stroke patients on, as if they were encouraging them to catch a bus! However much you want to help a stroke recovery patient, it's not encouraged to try that technique at home, as fast walking may be dangerous if there isn't appropriate supervision and equipment. The take home message is that stimulation of all the senses is the best way to push the damaged brain down the path to recovery from stroke.
I will talk to my other friends who helped when dealing with our friend and see what they remember and I will get back to you.
Hugs my friend,
Laurie C.